I waited for my daddy on our front porch, eager to etch his face in my memory. He had only been back home for two months, yet still I felt a determined urgency to study his face and link the person whom I loved in the corners of my mind for the past two years with the person in front of me. My brothers, Curtis and John, who were too young to really remember a time with dad, sat on the stoop comparing matchbox cars and fighting over the best piece of sidewalk to race them.
To be honest, I lived in regret for the next day or two wondering, “What if?” When I decided to leave regret, I was freed from it. But as soon as I decided to redeem the next step and work on my confidence, I grew from it.
I’m living in California.
*que internal mix of excitement and fear*
By my sophomore year in high school I knew that I wanted to be the president of our marching band. Something about that position of leadership was appealing to me. As a result, my sophomore leadership novice self began to listen and watch the current leaders hoping to determine what I needed to do in […]
You know that friend that can read 6 thousand books in 24 hours, is the most intellectual being you know and always has quote or author to recommend? Well that’s definitely not me. I would like to say I was on track for literary genius and veered off around high school. As a kid I […]
There is a very big part of me that has delayed writing this post for fear of rejection from you. A part of me doesn’t want to be this honest because I know revealing this little corner of my thoughts might make you uncomfortable; it might even cause you to disown or reject me. But as these thoughts trapped in the confines of my mind demand to be released, I’ve decided to breathe and share anyway.
Fair warning, this is about race.
Lets be real though, if you know me, you know I’m not perfect. *gasp*
No one is; I understand that…in theory. But I still fear failure in the day to day. Being the internal perfectionist that I am for as long as I can remember, failure has never been comfortable (not that it’s welcomed by the general population; I guess i have a particular aversion to it). It’s just not fun.
Today I turned down my first date in some time. Don’t tell my mother.
I sat in the drivers seat of my parents Toyota Sequoia, completely overwhelmed and utterly despondent. My body betrayed me as tears began to spill down my cheeks. My hunched shoulders trembled as I gasped for the next breath, in direct conflict to the strong, resolute image I had predetermined to uphold. “This wouldn’t have […]
Stand or Kneel? Where do I fall? I’ve tossed and turned these ideas in my head and have debated whether to share those thoughts in such an open forum where my words can be taken and interpreted in so many ways. Yet after all the internal debate, I have decided that it was worth sharing. Here it goes.
I’ve always been considered to be pretty chill person. (Chill meaning easy going not temperature reading.) And for the most part I am. That being said, there are times when my own anxieties knock me of my easy going pedestal and threaten to betray my existing reputation.
Brittany and I became friends while working together for the same local non-profit agency. We connected for our love of each other’s style which slowly grew into a good friendship and long conversations about life on her living room sofa. Brit is ambitious, a talented photographer, lively, go-getter and will always laugh with you when […]
I spent two years crushing on a guy I thought was perfect.
No, the title is not click bait. This actually happened.
The following is an excerpt of a piece I’m currently working on. I pray this impacts you, even just a little. Enjoy! A published writer recently challenged me to write 500 words a day. I’d told him about my desire to write and about my struggle to get words down on a page. “I just […]
“As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless.” Psalm 18:30 One day soon. One day it will come. Do you ever get so frustrated sometimes that you can’t even put it into words? That was me this weekend. This weekend I helped lead worship for a women’s conference at my church. […]
What a deep dark curse death is. Its a despicable, disgusting, violating tear in this world. In every aspect it disrupts and leaves behind a wave of sadness rippling in the lives of the affected. I cant help but grieve when faced with death, part because of the loss felt and part because this wasn’t […]