Sometime our “becoming” is more like an unfolding than a blossoming. Moving to LA I fully expected to bloom, very obviously, in full view. Because that’s what social media tells you to expect. It bids you to accept perfection as normal in every avenue of life.
Was it worth it to continually pour myself out in service of others? I wanted to write a post to summarize the last ten years on my birthday but hesitated because this wasn’t a question I could even answer for myself. To be honest, up until yesterday, I was leaning towards no. No, it’s not worth it. It’s too much.
When Ahmaud Arbery was murdered on what should have been a routine run, when Breonna Taylor was murdered in her sleep by a bullet she couldn’t see coming, when George Floyd was strangled in broad daylight in a busy street, I could not uphold the strong tower image I had created around racism and its effect on me and my family. So I didn’t.
We met in the breakroom and exchanged playful jabs while expertly debating which breakfast beverage of choice was best: coffee or tea? I didn’t think he was anything extra special, I just thought he was funny and bold, a nice breath of fresh air from the guys I’d chosen to set my intentions on. And truth be told, I needed a Jack.*
7. Write a letter to your crush (a la To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before). It’s your choice to send it or not. Now, I’m not telling you to send it…but at the very least you’ve gotten those feelings out of you and onto paper. Just dont address and stamp it. You’ve been warned.
In that time, I started writing a book, started a new job, moved to a new apartment, and started serving in my church. And honestly it felt sooo good. I knew God had me right where I was made to be.
Que record scratch.
I write and perform poetry.
Well not really perform but mostly write.
I haven’t always been ready to share my poetry on this blog primarily because it usually doesn’t always follow a set structure so reading it can be a little dry. So I never mentioned it. That’s until July 2019 when I decided to record, shoot, and edit my poems into videos that you would be able to watch. After a lot of work, procrastination, and hyping myself up, I finally finished the video and would love to share my writing with you through video!
Last year I wrote a pretty solid list of 7 Things Post Twenty-five Singles Need Their Married Friends to Know. And to be honest, over the past year I’ve encountered so many different situations I feel there is so much more that needs to be addressed. So for all you millennial married folk, here are 7 more things we singles need you to know.
To be honest, I lived in regret for the next day or two wondering, “What if?” When I decided to leave regret, I was freed from it. But as soon as I decided to redeem the next step and work on my confidence, I grew from it.
There are things you need to know about 2019. If you’re anything like me, a reminder of these truths is nice every once in a while.
In the next split moment, I realized that although I didn’t currently want Him or feel compelled to change, I wanted to.
I’m living in California.
*que internal mix of excitement and fear*
I am an Instagram and Youtube junkie. Ironically, for as little as I post, it’s crazy how much time I spend on both apps. I’m not proud of this fact to be honest (to be honest even while writing this post I’ve picked up my phone 5 times without a definite purpose).
“I learned to love myself, I was able to finally sit down and think about what I wanted in my life- not what my family wanted, my boyfriend, my friends, but ME. What were my dreams and goals I didn’t even dare to think of accomplishing?”
That moment was when those cute butterflies became lead weights in my stomach and I froze. I would prefer to say I blackout and vaguely remember what happened next but I would be lying. I remember everything exactly.
By my sophomore year in high school I knew that I wanted to be the president of our marching band. Something about that position of leadership was appealing to me. As a result, my sophomore leadership novice self began to listen and watch the current leaders hoping to determine what I needed to do in […]