I’m sure you (as an avid reader of course) are more than excited to hear about the latest chapter in my (non-existent) dating life. I’m even more sure that that last statement is not true. But regardless, I’ve decided to share.
A couple weeks ago I signed up for an online dating site (the free kind). And 24 hours later, I deleted it.
Let me explain,not only to buffer the above statement but to also for my own well being. I have been single most of my P25 life; not for lack of options but rather for lack of good ones. I’m not about to date any Joe Shmoe from Hobokken. And to be completely honest, I’ve been very content with that the past few years.
However during a 5 mile walk we immediately regretted afterward, a good friend challenged me to turn on that dating side that had been collecting dust for so long. I had become completely unapproachable. I wasn’t mean or cold; quite the opposite, I was very nice to everyone. Everyone I met who could be a possible match, was immediately friend zoned. I was so focused on the grind at work and with the blog that no one could ever approach me even if they tried.
Thank God for honest friends.
I signed up for an online dating profile for 24 hours in the hopes that this would begin to crack me out of my shell and here are my thoughts. One thing to note: this site was based on matches. In order for me to talk to someone, we both had to “like” each others pictures (and no it wasn’t Tinder). Am I even qualified to write this? Probably not…but this is what I’ve got so far.
- There are a lot of normal people. My first impression was that I was only going to meet middle aged socially awkward people. That was not true at all. There were a lot of normal, reasonable aged people on the site; I may or may not have seen some people I know in real life.
- But there are a lot of creepers too. I couldn’t deal with some of the conversation starters. And considering I was only on for 24 hours I’m surprised I got so many.
- Curating a profile was more about marketing than about me. Which is truthfully pretty close to real life dating. You don’t always reveal the weird parts until you’re already 6 moths along and comfortable.
- There were too many guys with jacked up profile pictures. There were mirror selfies, crooked selfies, and gym selfies galore. Pro tip (because I’m a pro now): Have your sister or friend look at your pictures before you post. Your picture should be inviting not skating the line of potential thug or predator.
- Some profiles only had group photos which doesn’t help at all. If I had to play Where’s Waldo just to figure out who you are, I was done. If every picture had you, along with the entire cast of a Broadway musical, I was done.
- It was a lot more work than I expected. Honestly, I hated looking through pictures and profiles. It felt like shopping and as you may know, I hate shopping.
- Weird come-ons were passed out like Jehovah Witness flyers on a Saturday morning. I think out of the messages I received only 2 people just said “hi.”
- My awkwardness and quirkiness in face-to-face conversation did not translate well in text correspondence. There was no way to communicate to a stranger who virtually just met me that my comments on Leslie Knope’s politics was a joke.
- It only became fun after I told my sister. We then spent a good hour strategizing and analyzing potential matches.
- Online dating is not for me. I know friends who have had great success with it. But that wasn’t the case for me and the biggest reason why I deleted my profile 24 hours later. And maybe in the future, should I need to, I can always go back. But for now, we’ll chalk it up to a fun experiment.
Who knows what the future holds. I’m still brainstorming more ways to get myself out of my shell. If you have ideas, comment below! Until next time!