I walked into my parents house last Saturday with no expectations except to say hello and to chat about their lives. What I didn’t expect was an ambush from my mom of questions about my dating life, who that one boy in that Facebook picture was, and when I planned to get married. -_-
My mom has always had the same marriage conversation with my siblings and I since we were in high school. This was different. There was an air of desperation to every “Sophia!” and a good dose of Haitian guilt with every line. But let me be real, I don’t just get this from my mama. Somehow if you’re past the age of 25 and you are single society begins to try and help you along.
So, for all ya’ll married folk out there and for anyone who wants to help, Here are a few things we post twenty-five singles need you to know:
- We are single; not lonely. My years as a single woman have held the best moments of my life so far. Us single folks have travelled across the world, made friends in various countries, and have established awesome community. Struggles I face as a single person are not just good for my character but show me just how strong I am. Plus, we don’t have to pick a side on the bed. Thats always a plus!
- Feel free to set us up with Mr. or Ms. Right. It always helps to have someone scouting in your corner. Plus having you looking out for us significantly increases our social circles. If we like & trust you, we are most likely going to like them (at the very least we’ll gain a friend). However with great power comes great responsibility. Remember that.
- We genuinely love your love. I love seeing my friends celebrate their mates. Valentines day isn’t hard for us and weddings aren’t lonely. It is really encouraging to see all of the people we love being loved on. So go ahead and be all lovey-dovey; its ok with us!
- We still want to be best friends even after you get married. Some of the best friendships I have are with my married friends and their significant others. I know its hard not to get caught up in the newlywed bliss and only commune with other couples, but don’t forget to etch time out for us as well. We will always have something in common even if we are in different stages in life.
- Singleness is not a disease to be cured. As much as society tells us that we are less than without someone by our side, we don’t buy it. Our relationship status shouldn’t be the topic of conversation at every gathering as if you are all NBA sports casters breaking down the play-by-play. Our significance is not tied to our relationship status or lack thereof.
- Time is not our enemy. This one is for all the moms, dads, aunts, and uncles. Please, do not ask me when you will have grand children. How the heck do I know? As soon as I hit 27, my outspoken Haitian family never ceased to remind me of my age. Just because we have passed the 25 year mark, does not mean we must desperately scramble to tie the knot. Ultimately we want the same things but we don’t want the pressure.
- When our day comes, we want you there. And we can giggle and chat the night before about all the past, late night conversations over Oreos and milk.