“Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all peoples.” Psalm 96:3
This is how I keep the memory of God’s work in my life fresh. This is an account of God’s faithfulness:
Journal Entry 6/26/2006 “I think there is something wrong with me cause I’ve been having weird unexplainable moments like migraines and I randomly fainted at school.”
I would go on to have my body randomly shut down on me for 5 years without explanation from any doctor. When I came to, I would suffer debilitating migraines and headaches for weeks. I prayed to be healed, my parents prayed that I would be healed. October 2012 was the last fainting spell I had. I haven’t experienced migraines since then. God healed me.
Journal Entry 12/2009 “Listen, I need you to talk to you but I just need you to listen. Please don’t judge me or try to diagnose me, just listen…My life is not awesome…I need to feel like I’m not alone in this.”
The next semester, God provided me with my first best friends, Flavia and Fernanda. I wasn’t alone
Journal Entry 3/2010 “How do I do that God? How do I let you open my eyes? I think so small of you..I want to be able to ask for favor while favor is falling.”
The next couple months my journal went from a personal diary to God, to a daily revelation of who God is. I wrote things like, “It’s not about proximity, it’s about awareness” and “Grace is a mind-blowing concept.” God took me deeper.
Journal Entry 1/12/2011 “So what should I rest on when my faith wavers? Jesus is the cornerstone. To the rock I will go when I get tangled up in reasoning. I’ve realized faith isn’t something I can attain, it’s something you give to me.”
I had officially answered the call into full time vocational ministry and didn’t have a clear path. God directed each of my steps and today even though I don’t have the whole picture, I know who he has made me to be.
Journal Entry 4/3/2012 “I eagerly open my mailbox hoping someone has decided to deem my writing worthy…[but] I never received that congratulatory email. Rejection sucks but silent rejection is worse… It also serves to humble me. I’m [not] the only one with direct access to God.”
I put so much time and effort into my writing and my blog and it wasn’t paying off like i thought it should. God’s faithfulness in this was more subtle than most. See, my writing was all about myself and my acclaim. About two months prior I wrote “We are all deceived if we think our lives have everything to do with us and nothing to do with Christ.” I prayed to be humbled. I remember that season being so confusing and frustrating. He was faithful. He reminded me that my life was not my own.
Journal Entry 8/28/2012 “EVALUATION DAY! Praise God, the Lord or heaven and Earth! I made it! I got in! AND….I got a callback. Be thou exalted over my reputation.”
I auditioned for my church’s worship team. I had been crippled in fear to sing in front of others before. Leading up to that point, God was pruning me, killing the fear and replacing it with his strength. He is faithful.
Journal Entry 1/4/2013 “There is nothing I we can do to make God give us a husband. And God will never operate like that because that’s not the gospel. We can’t make ourselves look better, be more outgoing, or become more spiritual to earn God’s blessing. God’s plan is sovereign and it will happen when He wants it to.”
This was the start of my love for the gospel and using it as a lens for everything in my life. From boys, relationships, identity, family, school, the way I dressed, the way I acted, the way I thought, God started his gospel transformation in me that day and today I’m still soaking in it.
Journal Entry 6/24/2014 “Father, lavish me with the spirit of revelation and wisdom. Put your words on my lips daily. Give me eyes to see moments and opportunities that you have directly set out for me. Holy Spirit intercede for me.”
I had the hardest time deciding if I was going to continue and still invest in my students or if it was time to move on. I didn’t even know what to pray. God gave me peace and I decided to stay. This has been the most rewarding semester with my students. It’s been tough but I think I’ve grown more from being around them than the other way around. God is faithful.
These are only a speck of what he has done. He has saved me after being hit by a car, he has redeemed me from abuse, he has sustained my family on the brink of falling apart. Great is thy faithfulness.
This is an account of God’s faithfulness. How do you keep the memory of what he’s done?
“As for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
of your saving acts all day long—
though I know not its measure.” Psalm 71:14-15