Vulnerability

Can we please stop talking about being vulnerable?

I hate that word.

Well, let me reiterate that. I love it for other people but not for me.

Because being vulnerable means you get a little too close to me.

It means feeling e x p o s e d.

It means being open to whatever may come.

It means shaky hands, sweaty palms, jittery knees.

It’s like singing in front of people. It starts out as a great idea and as the tune develops, the more aware you get of every note, every trill. And the first time your voice wavers, the growing feeling of self-consciousness gets worse and worse. Almost as if you’re standing in front of a crowd with nothing but your underwear. Where all your faults and hang up hang on display for everyone to see.

Jesus, I hate that word. Well for everyone else its okay, its just not for me.

But then I stop, silence my fears and reflect on all you have done for me thus far. Every moment of passion, every success, every dream come to fruition, every conquered fear, every monumental God ordained moment in my life has started with a moment of vulnerability. Its in those moments you make your plan clear to me. In those moments, you show me the great plans you have in mind and ask,

“Do you trust me?”

I look back to the past and what you’ve done before then looking into the future. You give me the strength to say,

“Yes.”

Because it doesn’t matter if I’m worried or scared. In those beautiful moments of being vulnerable, when I’m standing in front of you as if I’m wearing nothing but my underwear, singing the song of my heart, YOU DO YOUR BEST WORK.

YOUR POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN MY WEAKNESS

You are trustworthy. You are for me.

You seek only after my good. You lavish your love upon me.

You hide me in the shadow of your wings.

You sanctify me. When I call, You answer. You have set me apart.

You are faithful. You cannot go back on your word.

You don’t lead me astray. You guide me in the path of righteousness.

You comfort me. Your heart is full of compassion for me.

You give me peace. You show me grace.

YOU DIED FOR ME.

And all of this, is realized in vulnerability.

So….I guess i don’t really hate that word, and yes that word is still a bit scary, but that word ushers in your blessings. and ultimately says,

“I trust You.”

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