Hey. I just want to let you know that I’m still human.
Yes, I sing at church, serve with students, genuinely care for people and their burdens, and spend a lot of my free mental space thinking about Jesus but I am still human.
I get frustrated impatient, aggravated and take things in my own hands. I don’t always trust God’s timing or his wisdom. I take a seat on the throne reserved for Jesus and start to rule because I think I know better. When things go unanswered, when someone exposes insecurities that have been blanketed by lies, when I feel like all I will ever be is 2nd best, I want you to know I’m still human. When my brain completely forgets everything that God has been faithful to do in my life and confusion and chaos invades my life, please know that I’m still human.
I’m still human.
I have these moments of complete understanding and trust in God but also moments where I forget my place. I am but a lowly human involved in a divine and glorious plan. Don’t believe the lie that I believed about people I would see serving Jesus when I was younger. Don’t believe that because God has brought me this far, that I no longer need his amazing grace to cover the weird quirks in my life. He is constantly sanctifying me. It’s this weird balance of being a child of God and a daughter of man. I am not perfect and I have my moments. But God is so much bigger than my moments. He doesn’t mind that I’m moody and can’t seem to make up my mind. He doesn’t care that my personality tends to shy away from most relationships. He doesn’t care that I worry about what comes next or if I am even capable of trusting him more. He loves my heart for people. He laughs at my innate awkward silliness and dances with me even when no one else will. He knows I’m still human.
Even though I want to be more like him every day and my desire is to live out of the abundance of this new identity He has given me, there are days where I’m still a little more human. The best thing is, on those days, He sits me down, washes my feet, tends to my soul and in every way, He reminds me that He loves me, a human.