Trust

I don’t always believe God allows good things to happen to me. When I get an opportunity or start to pursue what I think is God’s will in my life, I feel like all the doors shut and I chalk it up to building experience. Earlier this year, I started to pursue a three month mission trip to Thailand to help victims of human trafficking. God put such a yearning in my heart to help and I decided to pursue that path. “Keep going until God closes a door,” people told me. So I did. And God closed that door. I didn’t realize it then, but in my heart behind the expected disappointment was the idea that God’s plan for me was to be stuck in perpetual pursuit without results. I guess I thought I would always be tested and given experience that would be helpful later but never really believed there was a later.

I would bet my bottom dollar that a lot of people think this way. Maybe you’ve become so accustomed to having potential relationships fail, you don’t believe God has plans for you in that area. Or you work diligently in the office or school and are always passed up or over looked. You may feel like God is always going to be teaching you lessons about some aspect in your life and you’ll never graduate. The thing is, God does want good things to happen to us. He wants to shower us with blessings actually. The only way to fight these feelings that arise is to know and believe the truth. The bible says God paid great attention to you even before you were born (Ps 139:13) and he plans to bring his work in you to completion.(Phil 1:6) It says you are precious to him. He doesn’t just see you as some drone in his mighty plan but has an intimate path planned out for you. (Jer 23:11-14) The bible says that those closed doors aren’t a punishment and don’t mean you are not worthy. Closed doors are signs of Gods passionate love for you that he would do everything he can give you what’s best. (Rom 8:28) It says that even if you feel sorrow but still put faith in him and continue to sow seeds, you will reap with seasons of joy. (Ps 5-6)

It’s no secret that singing and the struggle to sing has been a huge part of my life. (Read the Journey series to find out how) Tuesday, August 28th, 2012, I was supposed to be boarding a plane to Thailand according to my plans. That Tuesday I auditioned for worship ministry at my church. I wasn’t expecting much. If anything I thought I could somehow get to be the water girl for the actual people singing. Wednesday, August 29th, I found out I made it into our choir. And I believe God has greater things for me still. Reflecting on this today reminded me of my value but also reminded me how much I don’t want to be outside his plan for me.  I’d rather have a 100 doors slam in my face and deal with the emotions from that than have one open leading me away from him. I’m in this. I’m in for good. I trust his plan and I trust him. 

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