I am human

I am human.
I forget.
I neglect my bible, the words of my Savior, my Lover, My God.
Yet another man’s font readily fills my thoughts because my heart need not reply.
You call me in, wooing me with your goodness but I am easily distracted.
I am stuck in a deadly trapeze act: on one side arrogance and self-righteousness, the other shame and worthlessness.
I fall and You save me.
“The mark of a true Christian is their ability to turn to Christ when they fall.”
I say it but there is a disconnect between knowledge and understanding.
What does this mean?
I love Him, or at least I claim to.
No, my love is conditional.
I love Him because He loved me first.
But when will I be satisfied?
My soul aches for satisfaction.
I know I cannot hope to find it here
I am in a dreamlike daze
I walk enchanted at the promises of tomorrow yet haunted by my need to hoard things of today that will never fill me.
But every dream comes to an end, every sunset disappears into the black night, every cloud produces rain.
When will I be?
I see your beauty all around me but cannot become part of it
So in the silence after the last note has rung
I wish to hear a note everlasting
I am human, raised by humans.

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