A Conversation with God

It’s hard you know. Being Christian I mean. It’s probably one of the hardest things anyone has ever had to do. With so many temptations flashing your way it’s easy to long for the easy life. I understand its allure. Trust me. Lights, fame, money. All seem to make others happy and you wonder, “Well hello! Do you see me God? I’m here busting my butt off to be a good Christian. The least u can do is swing a couple of Benjamin’s my way! Only if followers could live a life totally devoted to Christ but also a life that isn’t spent worrying about if the next paycheck is going to cover the bills or if you should take out a loan on top of already outrageous debt.

“I want the easy life. I want to have financial freedom. I want to live comfortably and a little more.” Then again, only the uncomfortable make a difference. Think about M.L.K Jr. or F.D.R. Only when they were truly uncomfortable with the current conditions did they shift the most stubborn paradigms. I can give you countless examples. I do this to inspire you to affect change.

“But it doesn’t hurt to have money. Just because we are Christians doesn’t mean we can’t be wealthy.” True. But what would you do with that money. When I hear you speak of what you wish you had, I never hear mention of giving to those in need. I seldom hear of people longing to work with abused children or donate time and money to others in foreign countries. However, I do hear you want a new car and more clothes. It’s your greed that prevents me from giving more material goods. Don’t forget; I know you. I do this to protect you.

“Alright, fine. But at least give me my freedom back! I haven’t been on a vacation in 10 years!” Ah, freedom. You ask for freedom but you forget I have already given it to you. Not in the form of financial ease or less stress. I freed you from the most binding form of slavery. One that destroys love and hope. Its master so cruel, flames of amber and gold envelop his gates. Slavery with a grip so tight only one person could break the bonds. I sent you this gift, so close to my heart, so that you may always be free. Free from hurting, bondage, heart break, sadness, misery, and sorrow. I do this because I love you.

“Well why if you have done all this, why am I still crying at night? Why am I fighting with my spouse over infinitesimal issues? You said you would be here to comfort me. Where are you?” My child, who is the one who dries your tears? “But I cried for two hours straight last night!” But you stopped didn’t you? I was there rocking you in my arm until you felt safe.

“But why do we fight so much? Where are you then?” You always find a solution don’t you? I am there counseling you through. “But our fights sometimes last days.” Yes, and every day you feel the urge to mend your differences, I am right there, holding your hand.

“Then why is it still so hard?” You said you wanted freedom. And I gave you freedom. Not only from what hurts you but also from me, so that you can decide what life you want to lead. I don’t want you to serve me because I make you. I gave you freedom to decide and by that I risk the only thing I have ever loved.

♥Sophia Dolcine

written 9/23/2009