I’ve been pretty much MIA for about 2 months just getting some stuff straightened and enjoying my time off school. The last couple of months have been pretty uneventful and a lot of the same. Going through a transition takes time and is not as exciting as you might think. So here’s an update for those who would like to know where I’m at with this whole life change God has served me.
First, let me tell you, you always expect things to go a certain way and they never do. lol. While trying to find a place to start and a church to get plugged into and a job so I can pay for school, my one-on-one time with God has suffered a lot to put things lightly. It took a car ride with my family on fathers day to some church that I didn’t know, after I had worked 7 hours dealing with customers, that I realized how much I had been cheating on God. I finally was forced to take the time and stop to reflect and I realized the well of life that was providing me with my passion and desire for ministry was more like a leaking faucet. After focusing so much on the logistics I lost pretty much all connection to the reason for all my work. And the worst thing is I would see glimpses Jesus trying to pull me back in but I let other things distract me. I guess the devil found a way to keep me busy. So trying to lean on God and really put him first not just doing my own thing around Him has been my focus.
Second, finding a church that I can really sink my toes into had been more than hard. I guess that why it took me so long to recognize the distance between me and God because back in Orlando I had a HUGE accountability system. I had church and Phi Lamb every Sunday, had prayer group on Tuesdays, bible study and prayer nights on Wednesdays, community service on Fridays and Phi Lamb events on Saturdays. I had a group of girls around me consistently and they all were on fire for God even if they were struggling. Even the people I saw everyday were very encouraging in their own ways. Now that I’m back home I am so disconnected from everyone. I’ve been trying to get involved at my parents church which is extra challenging because of all the awkwardness that’s been accumulating inside me. (I am supremely awkward when you first meet me) I have thought of going back to the church I went to pre-Orlando but I don’t think that my place is there. I still love them and they are doing great things but they are so different as a group and honestly I don’t know what my place is there. So definitely pray for me about that.
Lastly, school and everything surrounding school has been…interesting to say the least. I don’t want to let anything out of the kettle before its done cooking so just pray for wisdom in my decisions. Thats pretty much what’s been going on! I’m gonna try and get back into a regular pattern of updating as well so that I can keep in touch with you all!