Seeing Truth

Its so hard to see myself how God sees me. I feel like I beat myself up for my sins and try to force myself to be better. One of the hardest things for me has been living in truth. Believing God loves me, he will always love me, or he’s near to me is so hard especially if I don’t “feel” close or like I deserve it. If I haven’t prayed enough or studied enough or read enough or spent enough time with Him its easy for me to slip out of truth and into the abyss of “feelings.” I can empathize with the father of the demon possessed boy in Mark 24. He obviously believed who Jesus was but also acknowledged his doubts. Too often we try to mask our doubts and put on a front of steadfastness when the only one who is truly steadfast is God and his power is made perfect in our weakness. The honesty of what that man said to the face of the Son astounds me and propels me to be just as real with the God I say I love. So Jesus, I don’t always think you love me, I sometimes think you forget about me and I try to get your attention with my good deeds. Help me to LIVE in truth and to cast out all thoughts contradictory to it.
“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

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